Introducing Ronald Lee Darsey, of Texas

I would like to introduce you to someone. This is Ronald Lee Darsey. He goes by Ronnie Darsey to his friends.

Ronnie has been married three times. His longest marriage to his second wife lasted 3 years, 6 months, 22 days. Ronnie is ex-Army. He did one tour overseas in Germany. He worked in the motorpool. Ronnie is fond of his Army days and feels like it makes him Billy bad-ass. He usually wears a military jacket during the winter, but he buys his military wear from military surplus or second hand.

He grew up in Houston Texas, at 9405 Shoreham Street. He has two brothers and a sister.

Ronnie was born January 13, 1952, and he has a learning disability - he is very dyslexic, and he had not overcome his disability by the age of 32. Despite his disability and due to training from his father and from the military, Ronnie was a genius at repairing cars. He's a natural shade-tree mechanic. I have no idea how he is reacting to the computer-chip controlled cars of today, but I do know that in 1983 he called aluminum block engines a "lie", and swore that anyone who believed in such a thing was an idiot.

In 1984, while working as a mechanic in an auto-repair shop, Ronnie was replacing a flat tire and filling the tire with air. He over-filled the tire and it exploded, severely damaging his right hand. The company settled Ronnie's injury claim and Ronnie never regained full use of that hand.

Ronnie is 5' 11" tall, 140 pounds, with brown eyes and hair that is brown to black. He usually wears a full beard and mustache, but he shaves both off about once ever two years or so. His receding chin is evident without the beard. He can be very charming when he wishes to be.

Why have I introduced this gentleman to my readers? For three reasons.

First, Ronnie is a pedophile. His victims included the daughters of the women of his last two marriages. His third and last wife was the first to press charges against Ronnie. His second wife did not.

Ronnie has been convicted twice of indecency with a child / sexual contact with a child. His first conviction resulted in a 5 year sentence in Texas, his second conviction resulted in a 10 year sentence, with parole after 5 years served. His victims of choice are prepubescent girls. In two of his three marriages he married women 9 and 12 years older, both of whom had vulnerable daughters. I don't know how he met his victims after his third marriage, but I suspect he met his last victim through a girlfriend. As I said, Ronnie can be charming when he wishes.

That brings me to the second reason why I'm introducing my readers to Ronnie. He comes up for parole this month. Due to prison overcrowding in Texas, I fully expect him to receive parole. In fact, Texas seems to be preparing for his parole since they've re-registered him on the Texas Sex Offender Registry. He's going to be out on the streets soon. Ronald Darsey is an unusual name, so I'm betting that any potential future girlfriend might do a Google search and get this entry. This is important to me because the Texas Sex Offender registry is not indexed by Google.

And lastly, Ronnie is my, and my sister's, ex-stepfather. My mother was his second wife, and my sister was one of his early victims. I know him personally, I lived with him for 3 years. And while he wasn't sexually abusive toward me, he was emotionally, and to some degree physically abusive.

I'm over him now, and have mastered the resulting anger by letting it go - essentially by forgiving him. I have had help. I still get flashes of anger that require me to forgive him all over again.

But forgiveness does not abrogate punishment - it does not nullify prudent warnings to others. Ronnie deserves the punishment he's been given, and if you are googling his name you are doing so for a reason, and you need to know what kind of person he is. If Google has led you here, email me, and we'll talk.

My sister is still dealing with her own Ronnie demons. Hers is not my story to tell. She has given me permission to say what I've said here. I would not advise talking to her about this uninvited because her big brother can get VERY protective of her.

Ronnie is on his second strike - his third will result in a lifetime of prison. I have full confidence that he will offend again because I know that the overwhelming majority of pedophiles continue to offend. I also know what Ronnie was like, and if his personality holds true, he will reoffend. The thought of his future offense scares me, because a child will get hurt. I wish he could just skip the offense and go right back to jail, but justice doesn't work that way.

Ronnie can be dangerous to those who are weaker. He's a coward when confronted by an equal. He used to get drunk and listen to Country and Western and he was very fond of his shotgun and rifle. As a felon, he is of course no longer allowed to own or have guns.

Finally - this is probably the most personal post I've ever made to my blog. I do this because I think Ronnie is a dangerous person. I can't keep him in jail, but I can put his name on the 'net for anyone to see.

And to any who might be thinking dark thoughts about this guy, please - do NOT go near him. I won't post his address or telephone number, and I won't advocate or agree with any sort of violence. He's already in a personal Hell, and nothing we do will change that.

Just be aware that he's there.

Update: 9 Aug 08
My sister, Tanya, has written a great deal about Ronnie's impact on her life. You can read it on her journal here.

Update: 23 Sep 08
Ronnie's parole was denied... for THREE YEARS! Read about it here.

Update 19 Mar 09
I'm adding keywords to help with Google indexing. Please ignore:
Ronnie Darsey, Ronnie L. Darsey, Ronald L. Darsey, Ronald Lee Darsey, Ronnie Lee Darsey

Update 19 Jun 2013
I've been learning more about Ronnie's past.  Apparently he was a felon and parolee while he was my step-father.  If I had known, I could have made a call to his parole officer and had him removed from our lives.


Anonymous said...

I would like to add that I was not Ronnie's first child victim. He had a sister, who had a daughter just a year or two older than me. She told me about Ronnie molesting her. Another one of his nieces that I won't name told me similar stories when we were little girls.

I would also like to add for Survivors out there that forgiveness is not a golden ticket to healing. Forgiveness that isn't earned can set the forgiver up for a revictimization situation. The forgiver is willing to settle, and then is quite open to settling again and again the next time(s) they are taken advantage of.

Anybody that is interested in being forgiven should take responsibility for what they did, show remorse, and make some attempt to repair the damage. It can be done by some folks, but Ronnie is not one of them. I have to agree with Martin's assertion of Ronnie's personality. Ronnie's main behavior traits are arrogance and vulgarity.

Forgiveness to some people (like me) is giving away a very deeply personal part of themselves, and is the first step to rebuilding trust and opening themselves up again. It is also releasing the forgiven person of any obligation to show remorse, take responsibility and attempt to repair.

As far as being "over" him. Unfortunately, he was in my life for a major artery of my childhood. (Ages 5-12) I am very proud to be a home-owner, a college graduate, to work a job I like, to have a successful relationship, and to be able to depend on myself. I've met many other Survivors over the years that suffered worse than me, or did not overcome as well as me, or both.
My memories of him do not dominate me or scare me. But they will be with me forever. That's okay, though. They are mine now. I own them, and I own my health, and I live well.

Ronnie will continue to seek access to children. He covets. He has predatory behaviors, and uses them. He will seek ways to separate children from their mothers. He may do it in a way that seems very helpful at the time. "Your mother is tired, let her rest. Come here with me for a while."

He likes trucks, honkey-tonk, dirty jokes, cussing, and his accent is so thick that a non-Texan may not understand him at first.

My own journal will have something about him later.

Calladus said...

You look at his photo and you think he looks like a scary guy, his eyes seem a bit dead, if you're only seeing them superficially.

To me and Tanya, he looks pissed, and he's calculating. This is the look you get just before he's about to lie, just before he blames you for his mistake. This is the look just before he starts yelling. He's figuring the odds.

I knew there were others, but I personally have no proof. Tanya has more knowledge and experience of this.

And I'll agree - I'm not forgiving Ronnie for Ronnie's sake, I'm doing it for my own. I've learned to let go of my hate, as often as it reoccurs, because to do otherwise would have destroyed me long ago.

And it was my little sister who, maybe without knowing, started me in that direction. She's one of the strongest, if not THE strongest, people I know.

Love you sis.

Liz Ditz said...

Thanks for sharing your stories, Calladus and Tanya. Maybe your stories will protect another child from Ronnie.

Anonymous said...

I came here via Possums blog. Thank you for sharing and getting the info out there. I'm sorry for what your sister and yourself have been through.

I can understand to a very small degree of what you both are going through. I was raped by a boyfriend when I was 16 and was later married to someone who was verbally, mentally, and then physically abusive. In march I learned he killed himself. Sounds mean, but that was one of the best pieces of news I've ever had.

I don't think I can ever forgive someone though that made me so paranoid that I would sit there and figure out escape routes out of my own home with my kids should he show up.

Sorry, didn't mean to rant. I'm glad that you both are able to 'deal' with this and I hope that someone sees your post and is able to avoid ever knowing this guy.

Calladus said...

Tanya and I have been comparing dates. Ronnie moved in with us sometime Spring of 77, almost a year before divorcing his first wife. He moved out late 82 / early 83, but moved back for a few months in 84.

So although he was married to our mother for 3 1/2 years, he lived with us for closer to 7 years.

I was 13 when he moved in. Tanya was 5.

Anonymous said...

Hi Aimee,
I think it is only natural to have a good feeling about the death of someone that hurt you so badly.

I understand the need to qualify that feeling too. You may feel relief, or a sense of satisfaction.

But your own sense of humanity, compassion, and respect for life wants an equal say at the table when you speak of it.

It's all very natural, and I don't believe it makes you bad or wrong for feeling these things.

I get a great deal of strength from other Survivors. Feel free to email Calladus for my email address. You can rant with me any time you like.

Brigit said...

Thank you for sharing! I too was molested at more or less the same age by my dad's brother. I have never dared accusing him.
He is my auntie's husband and my cousins' dad, and I simply can't bring myself to shake up my very close-knitted family. I love them.

However, my uncle is a pediatrician. He's considered a good Catholic and a family man. He has 2 daughters now in their late teens/early 20's.Sometimes I feel like whatever he has done since then is my fault.

Deepa said...

Tanya and Calladus, I just wanted to say that your courage is amazing.
You revealed something so hurtful from your past so that others may stay safe... You are good people. That's all I can say.

Calladus said...


If you know your uncle is offending - that he's using his position to find his victims - then you have an ethical obligation to notify the authorities.

If you fear retribution then notify them anonymously. Call in on a tip line or send a letter. Include any evidence you may have.

I understand the reluctance to say anything. I understand fear too. But "Evil triumphs when good people do nothing".

Unknown said...

I don't see anything new about Ronald. He is out of prison and living in Texas. Thought you should know