On Pandas and Psychics

According to two psychics, Lun Lun, the panda at Atlanta Georgia’s Zoo Atlanta, is definitely preggers. Probably.

From CNN, psychics Helene Frisch and Andy Liu were asked to determine the state of Lun Lun’s womb.

Panda pregnancies are apparently very difficult to determine scientifically. A panda's hormones are able to 'fake out' the scientists testing her. I imagine it isn't made any easier when a 220-pound momma bear with big teeth and claws becomes annoyed at being subjected to a pregnancy test. (I have this image of the vet trying to get Momma Panda to pee on an Early Pregnancy Test strip from a drugstore.)

So, instead of hiring Steve Irwin to ask Momma Panda some intimate questions, Zoo Atlanta got a couple of psychics to figure it out . Why not? It is probably about as effective as asking anyone else’s opinion.

Lun Lun's keepers have already artificially impregnated her and are now waiting to see if it ‘took’. So it is no surprise that Ms. Frisch predicted a successful pregnancy and Mr. Liu (being a little more cautious) predicted a 65% chance of pregnancy. These predictions would fail the basic requirements for James Randi’s million-dollar challenge. Even if a birth occurs, it would not mean that these two psychics are actually psychic.

Here, I’ll do my very own prediction. I’ll flip a coin. Heads, the artificial insemination was successful, and Lun Lun is currently pregnant. Tails, the insemination wasn’t successful, and Lun Lun’s keepers will have to get out the turkey baster once again.

And the answer is… (I fumble the catch of the quarter, and it hits the ground and rolls under my desk. I had to lean under the desk to see the answer.) The answer is tails! Time to try again.

Now, in the best spirit of psychics, if I’m wrong I will ignore the error and never mention it again. If anyone brings it up, I’ll haughtily tell ‘em that my "psychic powers" were just at an ebb at that moment, and it doesn’t mean that I’m not really psychic!

If I’m right, I’ll include this prediction with a list of all my other successful predictions that I can wave at skeptics. I’ll say, “If I’m not psychic, then why do I have all these successful predictions?”

I’d be much more impressed with these two psychics if they tried to get Lun Lun to pee into an EPT. Watch those teeth and claws!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Lun Lun had a baby.

I guess my psychic quarter needs to be recharged or something.

We'll never mention this again.