I just realized today that it's been two years since I dropped my wife off at the San Francisco International Airport for her trip to Korea. It was the last time we touched.
Yes, she left after our anniversary celebration, and was gone for Christmas, but was supposed to come back before New Years. But the airline offered her a good deal if they let them bump her a week, so she took that.
I was fine with being here on my own for Christmas. I had this new game, "Portal" that I wanted to play with, and I was in the middle of building a new workbench in my woodshop. I was actually looking forward to being a bachelor for a couple of weeks. And Won wanted to visit a friend of hers from high school, an old classmate who had contracted cancer.
It's amazing how quickly everything can change.
The first half of 2010 was terrible. I don't even remember much of what I actually did at that time. I spent our anniversary in November of last year saying "goodbye" to Won, for a week. Allowing the emotions to roll through me.
This year our anniversary went relatively unremarked. It didn't hurt (well, not much) to think about it. Still, it's an important date, one of 3 that will make me remember Won. Her birthday on June 13, our anniversary on November 23, and her death on January 2nd. I'm thinking that I will hold either her birthday or our anniversary as an official remembrance of us, but haven't decided which as yet.
I've said it before, in my blog and in other places...
We are all living together here in the same pond. Our actions and words make ripples that are felt by, and influence those around us, who in turn cause ripples that are felt by and influence others. People who never know us directly will feel this influence.
It is not that important to make a big ripple, or wave, while we are here. What is important is the joy of splashing around.
Even if you never knew my wife, you feel her influence, through my words.
I'm doing much better this year. There is still some pain, there most likely always will be. But I've discovered joy again, and love.
Don't be afraid to gamble with your heart. And hold on tight to those you love.