tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5736821.post6358374320685871918..comments2023-08-08T04:19:26.974-07:00Comments on THE CALLADUS BLOG: Out at workCalladushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17620879847877868166noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5736821.post-88483250647647542122008-07-09T07:05:00.000-07:002008-07-09T07:05:00.000-07:00Cow: "This is my body given for you; as hamburgers...Cow: "This is my body given for you; as hamburgers, or roast or a nice juicy steak. I know you'll be enjoying the meal and company, but try to think of me while you're adding the sautéed mushrooms."<BR/><BR/>"This is my blood, you could use in in things like black pudding, boudin noir and blutwurst, but honestly you'll like it better seared inside of a juicy steak."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5736821.post-25125703570028620342008-07-08T19:07:00.000-07:002008-07-08T19:07:00.000-07:00Jesus: "And then I did the last supper, and I gave...Jesus: "And then I did the last supper, and I gave them some wine and I said, drink this wine - it is my blood." <BR/>God: "You said what?" <BR/>Jesus: "I said, drink this wine it is my blood. I was trying to make it a ceremony." <BR/>God: "But that's vampirism! Vampiric thing, drink my blood. You've got Pagan things right there on day one of the new religion!" <BR/>Jesus: "Oh, sorry." <BR/>God: "Why didn't you say, drink this wine it's a Merlot?" <BR/>Jesus: "Oh, yeah." <BR/>God: "Did you say anything else?" <BR/>Jesus: "What do you mean?" <BR/>God: "Well, after the wine thing did you say anything else that might have screwed things up… for ever and ever?" <BR/>Jesus: "No." <BR/>God: "Nothing at all?" <BR/>Jesus: "No." <BR/>God: "Nothing about bread?" <BR/>Jesus: "Yes." <BR/>God: "What did you say?" <BR/>Jesus: "Well, I said, 'eat this bread, it is my… favorite!' because it was hot so they had all those crinkly bits in it, and I loved it and… All right, I said it was my body, OK?" <BR/>God: "That's… that's cannibalism! You have got vampirism and cannibalism right at the beginning… Oh, Gee! And you died on Easter, the biggest pagan ceremony in the history of ever! (losing it a bit) You're going to celebrate the year of your death in a different year, each year! Depending on where the moon is, for God's sake! If they don't work out that's pagan I'll just eat my hat." <BR/>Jesus: "Dad, don't worry. No one's going to work it out for 2000 years - until a transvestite points it out in New York!" <BR/>God: "Oh, all right." <BR/>Jesus: "Well, what would you have done?" <BR/>God: "I would have done cheese and wine. Cheese and wine goes together better. Eat this cheese, it is my body…" <BR/>Jesus: "But it's Judea, dad. Cheese melts." <BR/>God: "All right: eat this cheese it is my central nervous system, all right? All right, all right, listen to this: eat these chicken drumsticks, they are my legs. Eat these carrots, they are my arms. Eat this tomato it is my head. And eat these oysters, they are my kneecaps." <BR/>Jesus: "If you do that, dad, your holy communion is going to have priests going round with lots of trays going, 'Who ordered the body of Christ, then?'"Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com